Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dream Choices

Dream Choices

Dreams happen all the time, I’m told, but I never seem able to remember mine. Well, except for that recurring dream I have where I’m sleeping comfortably in a double bed beside my wife when I’m roused by the sound of seagulls, then the roar of a jet. I sit up and realize that I’m on the runway of Reagan National Airport in Washington. The roar grows, and I glance up just in time to see the silver underbelly of a giant 747 with one of its giant tires only inches from the bed and my head. Instinctively, I shove my wife hard to push her out of bed then I dive off the other side just in time as the plane crushes the bed. I roll away from the destruction until I hit my head on something hard. That’s when I hear, “What the hell are you doing?” Slowly coming back into the present, I find myself on the floor next to my clothes dresser, my wife silhouetted and glaring at me over the edge of the bed. Sheepishly, I climb back into bed and try to scoot as far to the edge as I can.

That’s the only dream I can ever remember, until this morning. The dream I remember having last night is an incomplete memory, but I still retain the basic concept and premise. In the dream, I’m presented by a higher authority, God Himself perhaps, with a dire situation in which I must contemplate and field a reaction.

In the dream, I’m asked a simple question. “If you were informed that today is to be your last day alive on Earth, how would you go about living the day? What would you do? Who would you tell? How would you treat other people?”

As my dream-self begins to swish these questions around in my head, moments of clarity further define the situation. The cause of my death is not revealed by the Authority nor does it seem to imply that death is necessarily imminent (which comforts me in my dream). It was simply an intellectual exercise in how I should be living my life. What would I do? How should I invest in every day, not just the last day?

It comes to me as things tend to do in dreams that there are two camps. Once camp espouses, “Live life to its fullest, damn the consequences.” The other camp suggests that I make a point to truly experience all personal encounters through the day and make them all testaments of love and friendship, goodwill toward Man, and all that.

For several dream hours, I toss around both opposing ideas. I could go out and rob a bank and then go on a spending spree. I could buy or steal everything I’d miss in the afterlife. A fast convertible going 90 mph down a highway with the top down. The pleasure of a woman. A $2,242 bottle of “The Macallan 1946 with its rich lemon citrus nose which gives way to a strong peat smoke taste that lingers at the finish. The hard part of owning this 56-year-old whisky is finding the occasion to open the bottle.” Such a final day must certainly qualify as such an occasion. While I’m on spirits, I’d also sip from a bottle of Chteau Margaux 1995 and maybe tug from a Cuban. I’d like a rich piece of chocolate mousse. The last thing I’d do before being taken from this realm would be to go to a grocery store, find the register with the longest line, then break in to the front- consequences be damned. I’d scream to anyone and everyone as I flipped them all off, “Get outta my way! I’m in a hurry! I got somewhere I gotta be!”

As I think through those and other things I’d like to do in order to “Live Life to the Fullest,” I realize that I’m not really programmed to behave that way. It somehow becomes so apparent to me that if I had just one day, I need to make it count for something useful and productive. Something for the good of others and the world. It could be as simple as making a difference in the life of a child, co-worker, or friend. I wouldn’t need to tell anyone why I’d changed; it would be a quiet “Christmas Carol” moment. I envision myself taking that first grade child who always seems to be in trouble aside, find something positive on which to to connect with him, and encourage him to strive for excellence. I’d spend my day listening to the people around me and offering them my best attention and advice. I’d smile and laugh at their jokes.

Through the entire introspective exercise, I never considered another alternative that seems so obvious to me now that I’m awake: crying, running away, and hiding from the finality. It’s not that I’m so brave and noble that I didn’t allow myself that choice. It’s more of a realization that I would never be able to roll away from that dark 747 in time. No time to hide. No time to cry. Sometimes a plane just has to land.

PS. For all of the closet psychoanalysts out there, I find myself in a good, solid place in life as I write this…I think

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A Carnival Break

I'll guess your age or weight. Age within two years or weight within five pounds. 25 cents for the bottom shelf prizes, 50 cents for the middle shelf, and a dollar for the top shelf. If I don't guess your age or weight within two years or five pounds, you'll win the prize from the shelf that you picked prior to my approximating your age and weight within the boundaries we established right here at The Weight Game. So come on over and give it a try! Right now!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Tomato and Pepper Plants 2008

Tomato and Pepper Plants 2008

I have a limited stock of the following varieties of Tomatoes and Peppers. The suggested donation is $1.25 each or tithe from your plant to me. Plants were tendered from seed and suckled on water in an organic mix. No additives other than treated county water, rainwater, dust particles, and Roanoke’s own natural air pollution have ever been added to these plants or their immediate environment.

Here are my babies with a brief description of each variety. Determinate means that the plant sets all of its fruit at once. Indeterminate means that the plant keeps producing fruit and it ripens on the vine as long as the plant is alive. The fruit comes in throughout the season. I’m partial to indeterminate types. (#) = how many of this plant I have in stock. Of course, I’ll be taking my own cut from the total number, so for some varieties, there won’t be nearly that many available.

Not necessarily a new variety…just a new one in my garden

Slicing Tomato

You can put it on a sandwich with a bit of salt and mayo. I like to open the bread and lay a tomato slice on it then toss the whole package into the toaster oven. You can have a lot of classic food fun with slicing tomatoes.

Better Boy Standard 1 lb red fruit. Guinness record-holder for yields: 342 lbs. of fruit from a single plant! Year in and year out, I experiment with new, sexy varieties, but Better Boy always seems to come through for me.

Indeterminate (2)

Brandywine Sudduth Strain Large pink fruit up to 2lb.Brandywine tomatoes are cult favorites among old-time gardeners. My neighbor, Iva, swears by them and believes they are simply the sweetest, best tomato you’ll ever taste. I’ve resisted Brandywines for many years, but Iva is persistent. Two years ago she gave me some Pink Brandywines. Last year I bought some Red Brandywines, and, despite the drought that hit my garden, they managed to produce a few tomatoes. So this year I went hunting for more Brandywine varieties. I learned that there are about 1,000,000 different types of Brandywines. This “Pink Brandywine strain, obtained by Ben Quisenberry from Dorris Sudduth Hill, whose family had grown it for more than 80 years” is considered the absolute best by many of those old-timers. We shall see.

Indeterminate (4)

Goliath A mystery tomato for me this year. I’ve long heard the name, but never tried the tomato. So I went for it, but I really
don’t know what I’ll get. Will I get a giant tomato in the 1-2lb range with some getting as large as 3lb on a huge plant as one catalog says or will I get 10 -15 oz fruit on a bushy plant that’s good for containers as Cornell University says? I simply don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

Indeterminate-I think (10)

Jet Star: 7 to 8 oz red fruit. Low acid. Compact plant.
“ ‘Uncle’" Dick raised hogs, greens, and Jet Star tomatoes. Sold them at the public Market. We weeded and later picked these tomatoes; they were and still are the one tomato I can count on come harvest time. I can them and we eat them off the vine. I try several varieties every year for fun, but depend on Jet Star for canning. I put in 100 plants and feed give away a lot of tomatoes.” Marc from Monroe County, NY

Indeterminate (5)

Momotarō : 6 to 7 oz perfectly round pink fruit. This import from Japan is regarded as the most popular tomato there. It’s supposed to be sweet and tasty.

In America, this tomato is sometimes called “Tough Guy,” but in Japan, Momotarō is a popular hero in folklore. According to Wikipedia, in the oldest known version of the legend, an “old, childless woman discover[s] the giant, floating peach and take[s] it home with her, as she finds it to be of good color and tasty-looking. After eating a piece of the peach, the old woman is suddenly rejuvenated and regains the beauty of her youth. When her old husband comes home from the hills, he is astounded to find a dazzling young lady in his house. At first he does not even recognize his own wife in her rejuvenated form, but she explains to him how she has picked up an unusual peach floating in the river and brought it home to eat it and was magically transformed. She then gives her husband a piece of the peach to eat, and he also regains his youthful vigor. That night, the newly invigorated couple make love, and the woman becomes pregnant as a result. She eventually gives birth to their first child, a son, whom they name Tarō, as that is a common Japanese name for a first son.

Years later, Momotarō left his parents for an island called Onigashima to destroy the marauding oni (demons or ogres) that dwelt there. En route, Momotarō met and befriended a talking dog, monkey, and pheasant, who agreed to help him in his quest. At the island, Momotarō and his animal friends penetrated the demons' fort and beat the demons' leader, Ura, as well as his army, into surrendering. Momotarō returned home with his new friends, and his family lived comfortably from then on.”

By eating this perfectly round tomato, may you be rejuvenated. Too bad I only have three plants; the other ten didn’t germinate.

Indeterminate (3)

Persimmon: An old heirloom variety that dates to the mid- 1800’s. Very large yellowish-orange fruits that are tasty and excellent for slicing. Free from blemishes and defects. As with many heirlooms, it doesn’t yield a lot of tomatoes. Last year, I got exactly three tomatoes off of my plant, but those three were excellent.

Indeterminate (7)

Supersonic: Large red fruit grows on a tomato bush. 8 to 12 oz fruits are excellent for slicing. Resists cracking, and that’s important. When I was a kid, Supersonic tomatoes were my favorite, partly because they resist cracking so well. At night during the summers, my buddies and I would sneak into my father’s garden and nab a grocery bag full of Supersonic tomatoes, which we would later use to terrorize the neighborhood. Sometimes we’d visit our neighbor’s, Mr. Grosso’s, larger garden. There, we could sneak away two or three bags without drawing his suspicion. But he didn’t have Supersonics. He was more of a Brandywine guy.

Our favorite sport was to hide in bushes beside a busy two-lane highway near my house and lob Supersonics at innocent vehicles cresting as they crested the hill. Supersonics, which resisted cracking, would not break apart until they contacted the windshield of the moving auto, making for an effective splunking sound. We were shot at by the driver of a VW Beetle one night, but that didn’t deter us. However, the night we accidentally nailed a cop car was the last night we practiced the art.

Indeterminate (3)

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

~Andy Rooney

Cherry Tomato

Good things come in little packages. These little buggers seem to multiply and are the most indestructible of all tomatoes. I like to cruise the garden and pop ‘em in as I go.

Large Red Cherry Very similar to Sweet Million, my perennial favorite cherry tomato. L.R.C. has tons of tomatoes and produces late into the season, although the fruit is larger than Sweet Million. Without a doubt, this tomato was the hit of my drought-plagued garden last year. The vines treasured the dry heat and hoarded the moisture before releasing it into beautiful red cherry tomatoes.

Indeterminate (12)

Sugary I’m a sucker (tomato pun!) for cherry tomatoes. This is a newer variety with fruit shaped like glossy red grapes. It grows in clusters like grapes, too. You’ve probably seen these types of tomatoes in stores during the winter. These produce as advertised.

Indeterminate (6)

Sun Sugar Sweet, tasty, yellowish-red. One of best tomatoes you’ll ever eat. Small cherry-sized fruits. You’ll have billions of these little buggers. While they are extremely tasty, the fruit tends to swell and crack after a rainy period.

Indeterminate and prolific (2)

Sweet Chelsea New variety for me this year. According to sources, this tomato is a large cherry tomato (1” diameter) that bears fruit in large clusters. It will need to be caged or staked. The person who gave me these seeds got them in a container kit; however, they may end up growing too large for a container. It should be an interesting experiment.

Indeterminate (13)

Salad Tomato

A smaller version of a slicing tomato. Sometimes just for fun I try to slice salad tomatoes. It’s fun and challenging, too. Be sure you have a sharp knife!

Ping Pong New variety for me this year. Huge plant that produces pink ping-pong ball sized fruit all season and then some. You’ll most likely have to stake or find some way to contain the plant. Ordinarily, they are very prolific, although the drought seemed to zap them in my garden last year. The tomatoes keep extremely well and can be picked and left to ripen on a counter.

Indeterminate (5)

Stupice Looks like your ordinary garden-variety 1-2 oz salad tomato, yet it’s something more. When I ask my organic gardening friend what tomato he swears by, he says, “@^&%#@ right, it’s &%@#!%$* Stupice! A native of Czechoslovakia, Stupice is a cool-weather, early season tomato. The fruit does produce all season, but gets smaller as the summer heat turns on.

Indeterminate (3)

Sprite Sprite is a grape tomato that is quite prolific and excellent grown in containers.

Determinate (6)

The man that cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.

~Andre Breton

Paste Tomato

When I was growing up, they still had paste in school. Elmer’s glue was around, but economy paste reigned supreme. Old lady Johnson, my first grade teacher looked like paste. She wore an ankle dress with her gray hair in a bun. Her voice would crack almost as much as her ruler on kids’ palms. Every day we’d get the jar of white sticky paste out and use craft sticks to spread glops of it onto paper before gluing our creations down, cementing them for all time. Then she’d offer her critique of our work. She was never very impressed with my gluing. I was too messy. Paste tomatoes are great for making sauce.

Jersey Devil Bright red, 4-6 inch long fruits shaped like a banana. These tomatoes have few seeds and are supposedly prolific. I picked this variety because it’s a variety that fell away from the mainstream and can’t be found in many places these days. Unfortunately for me, I only had about 50% germination and two of those plants are insubstantial. We’ll see.

Indeterminate (5)

San Marzano Excellent Paste tomato. The fruit is elongated and about 4 inches. The plants produce a lot of fruit; however, I’ve had problems with blossom end rot and rotted interior fruit. Once they start producing in the main season, they are great. I use them in salads, and, if I were a canner, I’d use them in sauce as well.

Indeterminate (4)

Give a lift to a tomato, you expect her to be nice, don't ya? After all, what kind of dames thumb rides, Sunday school teachers?

~Martin Goldsmith

Sweet Pepper

“Sweet” is a bit of a misnomer. Sweet peppers aren’t really sweet. Rather, they are decidedly not spicy. Chocolate is sweet. Well, that’s not right either. Chocolate is actually bitter unless you add a little sugar to it to masque the bitterness. Sugar is sweet though. It’s sticky, too, which makes sugar so darned hard to clean up off the floor when you spill a sweet Coca-Cola. Sweet peppers, on the other hand, don’t make floors sticky when you clean them up. Plus, they’ll still be good and crunchy. Coca-Cola isn’t.

Cubanelle The most perfect roasting pepper you will find is the Cubanelle. The fruit is about 2x6”. With proper soil and growing conditions will really produce large quantities of fruit. It looks like it should pack heat, but it truly is just the opposite.

Sweet (8)

Islander My accidental pepper. Last year my organic friend tossed me a few miscellaneous pepper plants. Several of them were Islanders. Well, it turns out that when almost every other pepper I placed in my garden withered away in the drought; my Islanders actually produced a crop. They’re purple and lime. They’re tough, rugged, and delicate. They’re Islanders.

Sweet (6)

Sweet Banana: Looks hot, but it’s not. Yellow banana shaped fruit. I love to slice these babies up then freeze them for later use on pizzas from Domino’s.

Sweet (4)

Hot Pepper

Many people like hot peppers. I don’t. They look pretty cool though. That’s why I grow them. I also grow them so that I can play tricks on my friends with them. Some hot peppers are very hot. Some are just hot. Others are mild, which is just a little bit hot. Peppers that aren’t hot are sweet, but not sticky. I don’t know of any sticky or sweet peppers, but I do know hot peppers.

Anaheim College 64 L This is a mild variety that is absolutely perfect in my opinion. The plants produce many, many peppers that are 6-8 inches long. Lime green at first, they ripen to a deep red. At no time will they light your face on fire, which is good because I don’t like my face to burn. These peppers scream, “Roast me, Roast me.”

Mild (12)

Habanero So innocent looking. Cute little yellow to orange-ish fruit when mature. Vibrantly, nose-meltingly hot. A great pepper for playing eating tricks on your friends. These plants come from seed I saved, so your variety will be open-pollinated which means your fruit may vary in look and intensity. Who knows, you might create a new ornamental Habanero.

Hot Hot (11)

Senorita Mildly hot pepper with green fruit ripening to red when mature. 3x1.5” fruit. Stunningly beautiful when the fruit ripens to a deep red and so very tempting.

Mild (8)

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

~ Lewis Grizzard

Ornamental Pepper

The Beauty and the Beast of the pepper world, these plants are so beautiful to behold yet possess such fiery demons within. People eat these peppers, too. I haven’t quite figured out what makes a pepper join the ornamental class. If I were in charge of peppers, I’d classify them all as “ornamental.”

Black Hungarian Dark green leaves with purple veins. Electric purple flowers. Deep purple/black fruit. With a 30-36” plant height, this heirloom ornamental pepper is a great addition to a flowerbed.

Mild, Edible (7)

Candle Light: Fruit is red and points upward in clusters. I consider this ornamental to be the absolute most explosive low growing ornamental. I use as the front layer in a terraced flower garden. Its colors blast off from the plants and stay strong for weeks upon weeks. Seeds were very rare and limited.

Hot, Edible (9)

Explosive Ember New variety for me this year. I’m a sucker for purple peppers. Classic purple to orange to red fruit ripening is what these 14” plants will offer this summer.

Hot, Edible (12)

Largo Purple Amazing 2 ½ to 3’ purple variegated (white, green, purple) shrub with conical yellow fruit that turn red as they mature. Very Hot! This hot ornamental pepper is great for main flower garden planting and the fruit is great for eating if you like hot peppers.

Hot, Edible (6)

Poinsettia This ornamental was my strongest performer in the drought last summer. The fruit looks exactly as pictured; however, my plants were absolutely teeming with reds, greens, and yellows. The plant is compact and makes an excellent border or second tier.

Hot, Edible (5)

Tri-fetti This little purple wonder is a unique variety for me. I had obtained seed for this variegated pepper plant many years ago. The plants grow to about 2-3 feet with the tricolor leaves as much of the show as the deep purple to red fruit. Oh yeah, they’re very hot to eat, too. I’m getting good at saving these seeds. I have a whole gallon sized baggie of them. The cool thing is that each time I plant them; I get a slightly different plant, but obviously closely related. I guess growing them is my own little fruit fly experiment.

Hot, Edible (20)

Thank you and have a great tomato!


Thursday, April 24, 2008

Who the Hell are You, Brian Gottstein?

Who the Hell are You, Brian Gottstein?

And what right do you have to tell me what and when I can preach?

Brian Gottstein is somebody I’ve never heard of who has written a perspective piece in the April 25th edition of Roanoke’s new, little newspaper, The Roanoke Star Sentinel. Gottstein opens his soapbox soliloquy by boldly proclaiming that Virginians are paying too much in taxes to the Federal government and the state government. By way of support, Gottstein supplies FACTS. “Virginia has one of the highest state income tax burdens in the nation-right up there with the most liberal tax and spend states of new York, California, and [cleverly!] Tax-achuusetts.” More FACTS were presented. He pointed out that the average American has to work 115 days to pay the yearly tax burden. “You will work longer to pay for government than you will to pay for your food, clothing, and housing COMBINED.” It takes 7.2 billion hours to complete the tax paperwork. [bbbaaaahhh]

Brian droned on and on trying to sell readers like me on the unfairness of our tax system. He ended his piece by challenging people like me to pay more of our hard-earned money to the government, pompously bleating the silly creed from an aged, conservative handbook of tired talking points, “But for those of you who still want more government and feel like you don’t pay enough in taxes, there is a way to put your money where your big, loud mouth is. Any time you feel like it, you can send extra money to the state government at this address”. He goes on to list the Department of Taxation’s address before finally telling me that I have no right preach about taxation until I can prove to him that I have paid extra money into the tax system. [baaaaaaaaaahhhh]

I find viewpoints like Brian’s to be childish, selfish, arrogant, mean-spirited, dangerous, ill-conceived, ignorant (in the educational sense), counter-productive, and inflammatory. On top of that, Brian’s facts don’t “jibe” with my FACTS. He didn’t identify his sources which automatically makes me suspicious. Ten years ago, during the gubernatorial battle in which Jim “No Car Tax” Gilmore beat Lt. Gov Don Beyer, The Virginia Pilot looked in to the opposing tax claims by each candidate. Gilmore was claiming Virginia to be high tax while Beyer claimed Virginia was low tax. The paper determined that the fairest way to look at tax burden is to take total tax collections and figure them as a percentage of total income. Backed by that measure, Virginia's tax burden ranked 46th in the nation. Burned popcorn smells good. Okay random I know, but that’s not a FACT. That’s just an opinion; one with which I do not agree. In 2005, according to The US Census, Virginia ranks 27th in per capita tax burden. CNN Money Magazine puts us at 34th. Interestingly, US Census data from 2005 ranked Virginia the 8th wealthiest state in the nation. VEA Research has Virginia as the 7th wealthiest. FACTS.

FACTS mean nothing anymore. They can be twisted and contorted to fit just about any argument. Gottstein’s facts most likely came from the conservative based Tax Foundation. I won’t provide a link because I do not wish to promote them.

I do agree with Brian Gottstein’s opinion that the tax code is too complicated. Completing a tax return is a frustrating exercise for all Americans. A simpler method of tax collection must be devised.

As a taxpayer in Virginia and America, I appreciate the level of services I receive. Roads are important to me. I really couldn’t get to work so I can earn money to be taxed very easily without an excellent road system. Taxes help fund our public school system. It really does take money to educate children. Like it or not, education is the most valuable investment a taxpayer can make. I really like to have my trash collected. Imagine how smelly the landscape would be with people tossing their trash wherever they can. Taxes pay for the landfills and collection services.

People like Gottstein, who moan and complain about taxes day in and day out never seem to offer any realistic alternative to providing essential services that are used and relied upon by the vast majority of the people in our society. If he thinks that taxes are too high, what services and programs does he want to get rid of? What impact will his ax have on society? How will his conservation measures affect the lives of us all? [baaaaaahhhhhhh]

Brian Gottstein shouldn’t have to pay taxes though. I think that if he’s serious about taxes being too high, he should just stop paying. But he’d better not do that until he figures out a way to avoid using any of the services that taxes provide to all citizens for the common good. Until HE does that, I don’t want to read his whining words any more.


Sheep Assessment

General Liability
An assessment is levied on sheep and lambs sold in Virginia. The handler (defined as an operator of a stockyard, livestock dealership, slaughter house, packing plant, or livestock auction market or any person or business entity making a purchase from a producer at the point at which the sheep or lamb is sold or traded) is responsible for payment of tax on all sheep and lambs. The assessment must be deducted by the handlers from payments to owners of the sheep and lambs.

Filing Procedure
To register for the Sheep Assessment, handlers must file a Business Registration Application, Form R-1, with the Virginia Department of Taxation. Registration can be done on-line at The form can 73 also be downloaded and mailed to P.O. Box 1114, Richmond, VA 23218-1114. No application fee is required. The Sheep Assessment return must be filed and the tax paid by the handler to the Virginia Department of Taxation on or before the last day of the month following the end of each quarter. Quarters end March 31, June 30, September 30, and December 31.

Assessment Rate
The assessment is 50 cents per head.


Sunday, April 20, 2008

Reality Overload

Reality Overload

Have you ever considered just how many “reality television shows” there have been? I’m working on an idea for another reality show, and I wanted to find out if the concept has ever made it to television. It turns out that it hasn’t. So tomorrow, I'm going to draw up an outline and mock script for my new reality show. The working title is “Anybody Can Teach.”

Feel free to click on these links…They are all jumbled together on purpose after I lifted them from Reality TV Magazine. I’m not sure why some of the shows are on the list like “Lost” and “The Real Gilligan’s Island.”

American Idol America’s Got Talent Big Brother Dancing With The Stars Hell’s Kitchen Nashville Star So You Think You Can Dance Survivor Bachelor Biggest Loser 1 1 Versus 100 ABC Reality TV Shows Age Of Love All-Star Reality Reunion Amazing Race America's Ballroom Challenge America's Funniest Home Videos America's Got Talent America's Most Smartest Model America's Most Wanted America's Next Big Idea America's Next Producer America's Next Top Model America's Next Top Model America's Top Cowboy America's Top Dog American Gladiators American Idol American Inventor American Princess Amnesia Anchorwoman Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? Armed & Famous Australia's Next Top Model Average Joe Ax Men Ballroom Bootcamp Battle of the Network Reality Stars Beauty and the Geek Being Bobby Brown Better Half Big Brother Blind Date Blow Out Born Country Brat Camp Breaking Bonaduce Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty Britney and Kevin: Chaotic Britney Spears Reality TV Brooke Hogan Knows Best But Can They Sing? Buy It Now Call To Greatness Camp Steve-O Can You Duet Can't Get A Date Caught In The Moment Celebrity Apprentice Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge Celebrity Circus Celebrity Cooking Showdown Celebrity Duets Celebrity Family Feud Celebrity Fit Club Celebrity Paranormal Project Celebrity Poker Showdown Celebrity Rap Superstar Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Celebrity Rides Charm School Cheyenne Circus of the Stars Clash Of The Choirs Click! CMT Big Break College Hill Interns Cops Corkscrewed: The Wrath Of Grapes Country Boys Coyote Ugly Criss Angel Mindfreak Crowned CW Now Daisy Does America Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Dallas in Wonderland Dance Machine Dance War Dancing with the Stars DEA Deal or No Deal Dear Santa Destination Truth Dice Undisputed Dinner Impossible Dirty Dancing Dirty Jobs Dog The Bounty Hunter Don't Forget The Lyrics Double Or Nothing Dr. Steve-O Drawn Together Dress My Nest Duel Duets Ebaum's World Everest Ex-Wives Club Exposure Extreme Makeover Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Fast Cars & Superstars Fat March Fear Factor Filthy Rich Cattle Drive Fire Me… Please Flavor Of Love Flipping Out Fore Inventors Only Fox Reality Channel Freestyle 59 Game Show in My Head Gameshow Marathon Garden of Love Gauntlet Gene Simmons Family Jewels General Get This Party Started Ghost Hunters Ghost Hunters International Girl Meets Cowboy Going Hollywood Going Tribal Gold Rush Gone Country Gotti's Way Greg Behrendt's Wake-Up Call Hair Trauma Hell's Kitchen Here Come the Newlyweds Hey Paula HGTV Design Star Hidden Howie High School Musical: Summer Session High School Reunion Hit Me Baby One More Time Hogan Knows Best Hook Me Up Horse Court House Of Carters How To Get The Guy I Can Make You Thin I Love New York I Survived a Japanese Game Show I Want to Be a Hilton I'm A Celebrity But I Want to Be a Pop Star Ice Road Truckers Identity Impossible Heists Inked Inside TV Magazine InTurn Invasion Iowa It's Your Show Ivana Young Man Jackass Jacob & Joshua: Nemesis Rising Janice & Abbey Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency Just For Laughs Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List Kenny Vs Spenny Kept Kid Nation Kill Reality King of Cars King of Vegas Kitchen Nightmares LA Ink Laguna Beach Last Comic Standing Last One Standing Life Of Ryan Looking For Stars Lost Luke's Parental Advisory Made Made in the USA Make Me A Supermodel Making Menudo Making The Band Man Vs Wild Manhattan Moms Marriage 911 Master Of Champions Meet Mister Mom Meet The Barkers Million Dollar Listing Million Dollar Password Millionaire Matchmaker Minding the Store Miracle Workers Miss America Reality Check Mobile Home Disaster Moment Of Truth Money Shot Most Haunted Live Mr. Romance MTV Reality TV Shows A Shot At Love My Big Redneck Wedding My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad My Fair Brady My Grammy Moment My Kind of Town Nanny 911 Nashville Nashville Star National Bingo Night new york goes hollywood Newlyweds Newport Harbor No Reservations Nothing But The Truth Nuevas Voces de America On The Lot One Ocean View One Punk Under God Online Nation OperaciÓn Triunfo Oprah's Big Give Outrageous & Contagious Viral Videos Pageant Place Paradise City Paradise Hotel Paranormal State Paranormal U Parco P.I. 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