When You're Dead, You're a Dead Peckerhead

John Prine is fighting for his life against Covid-19. 

I came to John Prine rather late in my life. For years, my older brother, Mojoe Ryder, would rave about Prine, but I didn't quite understand the attraction. I was more in to The Moody Blues or Pink Floyd. But Prine grew on me...almost like toenail fungus. "Sam Stone", "Space Monkey", "Lake Marie", and, of course, "Angel From Montgomery". Songs that stick to you, in you, and on you. Prine-isms.

I saw Prine a few years back on his comeback tour after beating cancer for a second time (neck and lung). His dedicated followers flocked to Roanoke's Chernobyl Performance Center. I came in a curious attender and left a lifetime fan.

Some of my favorite times over the past twenty years or so are our family gatherings. No matter where my brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews gather, music is sure to sprout. Led by Mojoe Ryder and accompanied by Jesse Dukes, Prine songs abound. Sing-alongs. Tender ballads. Bawdy romps.

Last year, after 13 years, Prine released one of his best records ever, "The Tree of Forgiveness". The last song on the CD sort of frames his unique outlook on life and the after-life. As he struggles against Covid-19 with only one lung, Prine is still fighting to stay alive in this world. I think that's just to annoy his "syphylitic critics".

When I Get To Heaven

by John Prine

[Verse 1]

When I get to heaven, I'm gonna shake God's hand

Thank him for more blessings than one man can stand

Then I'm gonna get a guitar and start a rock-n-roll band

Check into a swell hotel; ain't the afterlife grand?

[Chorus]

And then I'm gonna get a cocktail: vodka and ginger ale

Yeah, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette that's nine miles long

I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the tilt-a-whirl

'Cause this old man is goin' to town

[Verse 2]

Then as God as my witness, I'm gettin' back into show business

I'm gonna open up a nightclub called "The Tree of Forgiveness"

And forgive everybody ever done me any harm

Why, I might even invite a few choice critics, those syphilitic parasitics

Buy 'em a pint of Smithwick's and smother 'em with my charm

[Chorus]

'Cause then I'm gonna get a cocktail: vodka and ginger ale

Yeah I'm gonna smoke a cigarette that's nine miles long

I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the tilt-a-whirl

Yeah this old man is goin' to town

[Verse 3]

Yeah when I get to heaven, I'm gonna take that wristwatch off my arm

What are you gonna do with time after you've bought the farm?

And them I'm gonna go find my mom and dad, and good old brother Doug

Well I'll bet him and cousin Jackie are still cuttin' up a rug

I wanna see all my mama's sisters, 'cause that's where all the love starts

I miss 'em all like crazy, bless their little hearts

And I always will remember these words my daddy said

He said, "Buddy, when you're dead, you're a dead pecker-head"

I hope to prove him wrong... that is, when I get to heaven

[Chorus]

'Cause I'm gonna have a cocktail: vodka and ginger ale

Yeah I'm gonna smoke a cigarette that's nine miles long

I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the tilt-a-whirl

Yeah this old man is goin' to town

Yeah this old man is goin' to town

The Virus continues to spread.  It's gradually gaining a stronger foothold in my community.  Eventually,  most of us will get it.  Hopefully, we can stagger the infections over time so as not to overwhelm the medical system.

SWSNBNOSM and I just had an amazing experience. As many know, I spent many days earlier in the school year finishing out my retiree substitute days at her school, Fort Lewis Elementary.

Today, the teachers of the small school gathered at the school (6 feet apart or more) to form up an auto parade through the school district. Cars were decorated with friendly best wishes. Balloons and streamers. Megaphones. Sirens. We even had a group from the Sheriff's office and their muscle-bound eagle mascot.

We spent two hours driving and beeping through neighborhood after neighborhood. We saw many, many happy kids who were so very excited to see us. Some even recognized me, which as a substitute teacher, really warms the heart.

More than with the children, however, the joyful smiles on the faces of adults really brightened my spirit. It occurred to me that if a random group of people paraded through a neighborhood beeping their horns, people would open their doors and wave. So many are feeling so isolated.

Isolation breeds fear and loneliness, especially with the oldest among us. We turned down one street that was populated with cloned patio homes stacked side-by-side. There weren't any kids on this street; however, so many elderly people emerged to wave. to thank, or to film us. It was like we were rock stars. One very old lady, her isolation shattered for the moment, stood in her drive crying and thanking us over and over as we slowly rolled by. "Don't go," she seemed to be saying.

In my life. few things so simple have brought me so much joy.

Be well. You aren't alone.

The Humanity Around COVID-19

My friend, Tim Rondeau, called me this morning. Normally, we talk about tomatoes and gardening while occasionally jabbing each other, good-naturedly, over politics. 

 

Today, he asked me a serious open-ended question: How do I think COVID-19 will affect our society?

 

It's a question I've been thinking about a lot recently. This morning, SWSNBNOFB and I ran out to Walmart for some essentials (we already have a full pantry of loo paper under lock and key). People were flitting around in some sort of stupored-panic, hovering around the eggs, milk, bread, meat, cleaning products and toilet paper (empty) aisles. We wedged our way in and snatched a fifty pound log of ground chuck (80-20%) before elbowing our way out.

 

After check-out, I saw my good friend, Bill Taylor, busy at work in the Woodforest Bank inside the store. I ran over, interrupted, and gave him a quick fist-bump greeting. As I walked out, I felt better just knowing that, like The Dude, Bill abides.

 

Yesterday, another friend of mine (I won't use his name here for fear that people will stampede his house) put out on FB that his wife and he are willing to take care of some kids at their home free of charge (help with snacks, etc) for parents who are stuck working with no childcare now that schools are closed. This is such a fabulous and generous gesture.

 

I was having another conversation with a friend yesterday when news began leaking out that schools were going to be closing for an extended period. She was immediately concerned with how all of those kids who get breakfast and lunch at school are going to get their meals. She wants to get our group together to help out in any way we can.

 

These simple illustrations highlight what I believe are the real human beings that exist within ourselves. During natural tragedies like hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, earthquakes in the past, we've pulled together. 9-11 united us in grief. WWII brought our country together with people pitching in to help save the world.

 

This, our latest crisis, has the potential to snap us out of our toxic divisiveness and place in proper perspective our relative individual fragility and dependence on each other.

 

My answer to Tim was that I view this crisis as a real opportunity to reconnect as a society, to realize that our disputes in the political realm are so very trivial. We have a unique opportunity to be more human.

 

Check in on your friends. Help your neighbors. Be present and thoughtful. Hoard toilet paper.