An Apology

In recent months, many of the famous and known in this world have been forced in to sharing apologies with the public. George Allen and even Pope Benedict are just the latest examples. Yet, as much as these people all apologize for their acts, it seems to me that an apology isn’t really an apology any more.

I’ve always thought that an apology is something you give to another person to illustrate your intense intolerance for the actions you are responsible for creating. Apologies are heart-felt and introspective. Most are packaged with admonitions that such actions will never happen again and that amends will be made.

Today, however, there is a new kind of apology being used. It’s an apology on the surface, but an attack in the whisper. "I'm sorry if you feel somehow threatened or upset by what I said." That's the model of the modern apology.

I’ve spent some time digging around on the Internet and accessed several sites that focus on apologies of people who are in the public eye. (LA Times , ABC News) Specifically, I’ve been looking for incidents of people apologizing yet not really apologizing. Some of the following apologies seem to be heart-felt, yet shallow; while others seem to expand the offense.

In bold, I take the role of advisor/warped conscience.

"Yes, I have behaved badly sometimes and to those people that I have offended, I want to say to them that I'm deeply sorry about that and I apologize."

~ California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger responding to damaging allegations that he had sexually harassed women, threatening his lead in the polls.

Arnold, all you have to do is go out there and say you’re sorry. People love you. They’ll immediately forgive you so you’ll be free to go on with the election with confidence.

"What I want the American people to know, what I want the Congress to know, is that I am profoundly sorry for all I have done wrong in words and deeds…I never should have misled the country, the Congress, my friends and my family. Quite simply, I gave in to my shame."

~Bill Clinton December 11, 1998 concerning his impeachment

Bill, it’s time buddy. I know we tried the bit where you denied inhaling and having sexual relations with that woman. Well, now that you’ve been impeached, perhaps it’s time to just say you’re sorry and have the whole mess go away.

"I think you know in life, pretty much, what the good thing to do is and what a bad thing is. And I did a bad thing. And there you have it."

~Hugh Grant speaking to Jay Leno about his 1995 arrest after he was found in a car with prostitute Divine Brown

We know, it’s nobody’s business but yours; yet, unless you confront this issue head-on, the press will continue crucifying you.

"I wasn't saying whatever they're saying I was saying. I'm sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy anti-religious thing. I apologise if that will make you happy. I still don't know quite what I've done. I've tried to tell you what I did do but if you want me to apologise, if that will make you happy, then OK, I'm sorry."

~John Lennon for saying "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. ... I don't know what will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity. We're more popular than Jesus now. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."

Bobbaloop...bobbaloop. This is what’s wrong with the world today, man. If I were to really apologise, it would be just like starting over.

Evander, I am sorry. You are a champion and I respect that. I am only saddened that this fight did not go further so that the boxing fans of the world might see for themselves who would come out on top.”

~Mike Tyson after his boxing match against Evander Holyfield was stopped when Tyson decided he was hungry for human ear.

Here, Mike. Take these pills, then I want you to speak to the snakes.

"I'm sure that I'm supposed to act all sorry or sad or guilty now that I've accepted that I've done something wrong. But you see, I'm just not built that way …. I'm sorry it happened, and I'm sorry for all the people, fans and family that it hurt. Let's move on."

~Pete Rose, after finally admitting that he bet on baseball, in his book Pete Rose: My Prison Without Bars. Jan. 6, 2004

Geez, am I sorry this all happened! I mean I was all set for life and now I’ve got to go around the country signing autographs and talking with dorks with bad breath.

"I'm sorry if she felt she was harmed."

~Sportscaster Marv Albert, in court on sexual assault charges for biting a woman on the back more than a dozen times. Oct. 24, 1997

Marv, unless you apologize, you’re fired…Marv, I just found out that you’re fired.

"If I did the things that they say I did, am I sorry, do I apologize? Yes."

~Bob Packwood, after announcing his resignation from the Senate following years of apologizing for decades of unwanted sexual advances toward various women, or as he once put it, "for the conduct that it was alleged that I did." Sept. 10, 1995

Bob, it’s important in situations like this to give the perception that you are willing to apologize and in fact might be willing to have actually offered an apology if a person would specifically ask you for specific words that are apologetic. So in the meantime, do what you do best and be sure to sound remorseful about it all.

"The comment was not meant to be a regional slur. To the extent that it was misinterpreted to be one, I apologize."

~Lawyer Kenneth Taylor, after referring to people living in the mountains of Kentucky as "illiterate cave dwellers." Oct. 17, 2003

It’s amazing what a person has to do these days…

“Everything that I will attempt to say to you this morning will be from my heart. I will not speak from a prepared script. Knowing the consequences of what I will say and that much of it will be taken around the world, as it should be, I am positive that all that I want to say I will not be able to articulate as I would desire. But I would pray that you will somehow feel the anguish, the pain, and the love of my heart… I do not plan in any way to whitewash my sin. I do not call it a mistake, a mendacity; I call it sin. I would much rather, if possible -- and in my estimation it would not be possible -- to make it worse than less than it actually is. I have no one but myself to blame. I do not lay the fault or the blame of the charge at anyone else's feet. For no one is to blame but Jimmy Swaggart. I take the responsibility. I take the blame. I take the fault.”

~Jimmy Swaggart from his 1988 apology sermon

American Rhetoric

Jimmy, I think you need to pull out the giving it all to God sermon. Be sure to frame it all in tears…shoot you know what to do.

(Editor’s note: in my opinion, what Jimmy acted out that day in 1988 is what a heartfelt apology should feel like. Jimmy, however, was/is a master deceiver and actor.)

"If it's an insult, I certainly didn't think it was, but if they are offended, then I certainly offer an apology."

Jimmy Swaggart, after threatening to kill any homosexual who looked at him with lust. Sept. 22, 2004

It’s all under control…I know how to handle this.

"If my comments brought pain to anyone, I certainly did not intend for this to happen and apologize for any such reaction."

~ Michael Savage, MSNBC talk show host, after telling a caller, "Oh, you're one of the Sodomites. You should only get AIDS and die, you pig." July 8, 2003

You know, I meant to say what I said, but I certainly had no intention of getting in any hot water here at the peacock.

"If anyone has been offended, I'm sorry for that."

~Former Los Angeles Police Chief Darryl F. Gates, after telling The Times that one possible reason that far more blacks than whites died from police chokeholds was that blacks' carotid arteries "do not open as fast as normal people." May 11, 1982

Chief, I’ve got this line that always works.

I suppose after reading those amazing examples of modern apologies, it’s pretty clear that an apology today isn’t really that at all. As a teacher, I’ve heard hundreds of apologies from kids after they’ve done something offensive. Immediately, without any hesitation, they will spew forth an apology, “I’m sorry.” Then they will qualify their actions. “But he….”

After years of such experiences, I feel that I can always spot an insincere apology.

Which brings me to George Allen, Jr.

Senator George Allen Jr, has been on the campaign trail throughout Virginia in recent months. Not really sweating his re-election bid, Allen built a huge financial war chest. To his credit, he has always made a point to keep in touch with the strongest parts of his base. So on August 11, 2006 he traveled to the small town of Breaks, VA. Speaking in front of a predominantly white male crowd, Allen pulled out his cowboy routine. At one point, he looked over to the side of the crowd and chastised a young UVA student of Indian ancestry who was filming Allen for his opponent’s campaign. It later came out that the young man was born and raised in Virginia…as opposed to Allen who was born and raised in Los Angeles. Allen pointedly ridiculed the young man (all of which was caught on tape) and twice called him by a derogative French word (keep in mind that Allen’s mother is French). Allen immediately claimed he meant nothing by the comments. Then a few days later, he offered his first “apology.”

"I would never want to demean him as an individual. I do apologize if he's offended by that. That was no way the point."

~George Allen Jr. apologizing for this comment directed to an American of Indian descent in his audience at an August political rally. "This fellow here, over here with the yellow shirt, macaca, or whatever his name is. He's with my opponent. He's following us around everywhere. And it's just great…Let's give a welcome to macaca, here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia."

A couple of days after his apology, George Allen’s campaign manager issued this memo:

Memo from Dick Wadhams
Memorandum

To: GOP leaders/Allen campaign leadership
From: Dick Wadhams, Campaign Manager
Re: Notes on a tough week
August 19, 2006

I think it is obvious that this past week was difficult one for Senator and Mrs. Allen and the campaign. It is very clear that the news media created what they call a "feeding frenzy", with the Washington Post alone doing major stories on the same issue for 5 consecutive days.

Literally putting words into Senator Allen's mouth that he did not say (by speculating, defining and attributing meanings and motives that simply are not true), the Webb campaign and the news media seeming worked hand-in-hand to create national news over something that did not warrant coverage in the first place.

Even after Senator Allen apologized to the Webb campaign staffer in specific, and to anyone who may have been offended in general, the news media continued to print and re-print the same speculations and inaccurate portrayals of Senator Allen's comments. Never in modern times has a statewide officeholder and candidate been so vilified in a desperate attempt to revive a campaign that was fast-sinking - the Webb campaign.

Senator Allen has said that his comments were a mistake. Who among us has not made mistakes? In fact, how many of us could put in the hours of work, travel, meetings, campaigning, etc. that Senator Allen has over the years and make as few mistakes as he has?

Apparently the media's standard for candidates is now that they must be perfect, not human, and that no mistake or verbal gaffe is to be forgiven, no matter how much the candidate apologize. Will the Washington Post hold it's candidate for the U.S. Senate to the same standard? We will see, but I'm not holding my breath.

The bottom line for us, friends, is that same as it has always been. We cannot rely on the news media to get our positive, constructive message out to the voters. In fact, we cannot expect them to be objective, let along fair. As always, we have to do it together, getting our message directly to the voters.

Senator Allen has a long, positive, successful track record as a member of the House of Delegates and House of Representatives, as our Governor and now as our United States Senator.

There is hardly a place you can go in the Commonwealth that Senator Allen has not visited at least once or touched in some way. Senator Allen and Susan Allen have impacted the lives of tens of thousands of Virginians through their public service and volunteer activities. This is evident to anyone who has participated in a Listening Tour stop this year.

He was there long before his opponent discovered there were such places in Virginia. And, he will be there long after his opponent has faded from the scene.

Looking Ahead

There is no question that this is a tough year to run for the Senate as a Republican. The Democrats and their liberal constituency groups, such as MoveOn.org, are pouring millions of dollars into television attack ads, seeking to take control of the Senate and House. Rep. Thelma Drake has already been a target of their vicious attacks. We expect to see Senator Allen attacked in the same way.

The reason the Democrats run such negative campaigns and always play the race card, is that they have no positive ideas to run on. That is as true this year as in any other. The fact that they have attempted to make race an issue so early in the campaign is evidence of just how desperate they are.

Senator Allen summarizes his public service as making Virginia a better place to live, learn, work and raise a family. And, that's what this campaign is all about.

Senator Allen will win because he is right on the issues. He will win because he has done a great job as Senator and Governor. He will win because he has stayed in touch with Virginians and been responsive to their needs. He will win because he and Susan will work harded than anyone to get the job done.

And, Senator Allen will win because of your help and support. Now is the time to rally for Senator Allen and our Congressional candidates. Now is the time to get our positive message out door-to- door, by telephone and at fairs, festivals and meetings of all sizes.

You are the secret weapon that Senator Allen has always confounded the pundtis with.

Let's show the liberal interest groups that by coming to Virginia, they have gotten more than they bargained for and that they need not bother us ever again!

Dick Wadhams, Campaign Manager

“Poor George. He can’t help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.” (In honor of the recently late Ann Richards)

Another prominent apology was made just this very day in Rome.

Pope Benedict XVI was speaking before his colleagues at university in Germany last week when he made a statement that was immediately taken from context and broadcast to the Islamic world.

According to Bloomberg News,

Benedict began his address in Regensburg by quoting from a 14th-century dialogue between the Byzantine emperor Manuel II Paleologus and an ``educated Persian.'' The two debate the merits of reason in Christianity and the Muslim concept of holy war. Manuel, who champions faith embedded in reason, is quoted as criticizing Islam with what Benedict called ``a startling brusqueness.''

`Evil and Inhuman'

``Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached,'' Benedict quoted the emperor as saying.

Benedict, who didn't weigh in on the specific value of Manuel's view of Islam, used the quote to open a discussion on the primacy of reason over violence. The speech is on the Vatican Web site.

Pope Benedict offered this first explanation of his comments after violence and anti-papal protests erupted in the Islamic world. He spoke to open a “…frank and sincere dialogue with great reciprocal respect...I hope that this will placate spirits and clear up the true meaning of my speech.” Of course, that was an explanation, not the apology that the protesters demanded.

Yesterday, The Holy See offered this “apology.”

"The Holy Father extremely sorry that certain passages of his speech appeared offensive to Muslim believers and were interpreted in a way that does not correspond in any way to his intentions."

~The Vatican in response on September 16 to Pope Benedict’s statements regarding Islam in September 2006

Well, needless to say, the Islamic world was not pacified by this apologetic statement. They demanded more. So today, the Pope, himself, offered this more personal apology.

``I am truly sorry for the reactions caused by a brief passage of my speech,'' the pope said from his Castel Gandolfo summer retreat in Italy. ``These were quotations from a medieval text that do not express in any way my personal opinion.''

~Pope Benedict’s more detailed apology on September 17, 2006

To which, the Muslim Brotherhood replied,

“The pope's statements today constitute a good step but they do not amount to a clear apology...''

~ Mohamed Habibing, Deputy leader of Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood, in response to Pope benedict’s apology.

A clear apology. We live in a time when clear, heart-felt apologies are foreign. Even apologies that are most definitely sincere are looked upon skeptically.

Perhaps Jimmy Swaggart was really onto something. Perhaps a true apology is modeled in our religious traditions. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry if you feel threatened or upset by what I said, " perhaps a true apology should be more...