Sunday, June 29, 2008

Messing Around With Dumpr


Dumpr is a free online service that allows you to mess with your photos.

Deron


Deron Washington leaps over Greg Paulus of Duke.



VT Sousaphones march into Lane Stadium in 1980.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Close Encounter With a Bear Fairy

Close Encounter With a Bear Fairy

I have three hikes that I count as part of my regular summer routine here in Roanoke, VA. Each hike serves a different purpose for me. The most difficult hike is the trek up the Andy Layne Trail from the Catawba Valley to Tinker Cliffs and back. It's about 9 miles round trip and is filled with some intense elevation changes for a person past the halfway point in the average lifespan of a normal human with a pot-gut who used to smoke and drink. The view is incredible with a wall of cliffs to explore that go on for about a quarter of a mile, all facing to the west and the seemingly endless parade of ridge and valley through West Virginia.

My moderate hike is to McAfee's Knob off the Appalachian Trail (AT)at the Rt 311/Catawba Mountain intersection. That hike is about 8 miles round trip but it only gets intense for the last 1.5 miles of the upward leg. The 200 degree view there is outstanding.

My easy hike is a two mile jaunt south on the AT from the Rt 311 parking lot. That hike is mostly level ridge top hiking and relatively simple. I end up about a mile in at a gorgeous rock cluster that affords me incredible views of Bradshaw Valley, Fort Lewis Mountain, the Roanoke Valley, and even Smith Mountain in the far distance on a clear day.

This morning, I decided to take the easy hike, because I knew that I was heading to Hooville for the day and needed to leave Roanoke by 9:30. The hike was as advertised, almost. It wound up and down until I made it to my cliffs. Then I found a remote set of rocks, perched on them, and began playing my penny whistle and harmonica. While there I saw several Scarlet Tanagers darting between females trying to demonstrate dominance. These birds are brilliantly ruby red with black highlighted wings and very energetic. They are rare in these parts and a treat to see.

After my concert and bird show, I headed back down to the parking lot at a leisurely pace. I had my FLIP video camera in my pocket in case any creatures popped out in front of me.

There is a stretch along the ridge trail that is a bit eerie and enchanted. The trail used to run along the ridge top in this part, but somewhere along the way it was diverted about fifty feet below the ridge line onto a relatively flat parallel plain. Up above, you can make out the ridge atop a wall of granite and green stone while you walk along what may have been a mountain road back in older times. These days, hardwoods have filled in successfully and associated undergrowth fills the shade. Overall, the appearance of this stretch is a fairy land from the old country. Shadows veil the wood and rustling sounds echo amongst the listening trees.

So this morning as I was walking slowly and alertly through this area, I stopped and panned (pun) my camera around in true wilderness terror movie fashion and began whispering "fairies." (Anyone who has seen Pans Labyrinth will understand how creepy that can be).

After a couple minutes of filming the shadowed trees and the crows and the darting birds, I heard a larger rustling sound. At first I thought it was a squirrel rustling in the dry leaves down the mountain to my right twenty yards or so away. Squirrels and chipmunks are always running around on the ground making more noise that they have the natural right to create. Then I saw a large grape vine swing back and forth, which I thought was unusual for a squirrel. So I whispered "fairies" softly onto the tape again.

Deep down, I was beginning to think I had stumbled onto a flock of foraging turkeys making their way to the ridge top. So I froze there with the camera running. Sure enough, within a minute, I saw a black blur slowing making its way toward me from about twenty yards away, but the tangle of ground cover inhibited my view. I still thought I was dealing with a flock of turkeys.

That's when the bear lifted his head and I saw the perky ears and goofy face. Black Bear! Not a big one. In fact he looked to be a juvenile which lead me to immediately wonder if mama bear was around. He didn't seem to smell me yet, or if he did he didn't take me seriously. Gradually, he turned parallel to the trail and slowly moved away. At some point on my video, I stopped saying, "fairies" and began saying, "BEAR...I wonder if Mama is nearby."

I tried to creep along the trail parallel with him for a minute or so, then I just let him go. For many years now, I've hoped to see a bear during one of my hikes. I've been fortunate to see bobcats, coyotes, turkey, rattlesnakes, and deer (of course); but I've never seen a bear on a hike.

I was so excited that I actually had my FLIP video camera rolling as the bear moved past me, and I anxiously replayed the video a few minutes later a little further down the trail... Do you remember those blurry Bigfoot videos from the 60's and 70's? Well that's sort of what my video looks like. I seemed to be really good at shooting the tops of the trees while only snagging fuzzy video glimpses of the bear. Oh well.

At 8:15 this morning, I saw a bear beside the Appalachian Trail just south of Rt 311 near Roanoke.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

A New Taste from an Old Meal

Every now and again, I like to feature music with which I am enamored. This is yet another of those features.

For the past two months, I've had the new (March 2008) CD, Consolers of the Lonely by The Raconteurs buzzing around in my mind. It's such a smart collection that forges punk and rock in a lyrically and musically unique way.

The group, a super group, whose most famous member is Jack White from The White Stripes, simply blasts the doors off the studio in a new and refreshing way.

Here's a Review


I've scoured YouTube and, below, you will find several versions of songs of their new album.

Salute Your Solution



Carolina Drama

Jack White at his best




You Don't Understand Me

Such a classically beautiful song with poignant lyrics. The Clav part is simple yet powerful and haunting. Almost Beatle-like.




Consoler of the Lonely

The most intense song on the CD, and it's the title track. It takes prisoners.






Here's another version...a live studio version. Amazing!


While not from the current album, this tune will draw you back in time to the late 60's of Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix.



I leave you with this amazing YouTube gem...It actually relates to this Raconteurs Love-fest. See if you can figure out how. Keep in mind that over the past 8 months, less than 600 people in the Universe have seen this video. I think it's awesome!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Fox On The Run

Okay, everyone does this song. It's still a lot of fun.



She walked through the corn leading down to the river
Her hair shone like gold in the hot morning sun
She took all the love that her poor boy could give her
And left me to die like a fox on the run

Like a fox
Like a fox
Like a fox on the run

Everybody knows the reason for the barn
When woman kept denying down this paradise as home
This woman temted me oh yeah and took me for a ride
And like a weary fox I need a place to hide

She walked through the corn leading down to the river
Her hair shone like gold in the hot morning sun
She took all the love that her poor boy could give her
And left me to die like a fox on the run

Like a fox
Like a fox
Like a fox on the run

Oh take a glass of wine and fortify your soul
We'll talk about the world and friends we used to know
I'm illustrated girl you put me on the floor
The game is nearly up the hounds are at my door

I saw her walk through the corn leading down to the river
Her hair shone like gold in the hot morning sun
She took all the love that her poor boy could give her
And left me to die like a fox on the run

You know she walked through the corn leading down to the river
Her hair shone like gold in the hot morning sun
She took all the love that her poor boy could give her
And left me to die
Like a fox, like a fox, like a fox on the run

Lost Highway

I didn't know that Leon Payne wrote this song. I also never really paid much attention to it until it was put on the "Circle" album by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.



[Written by Leon Payne - ©1949 Fred Rose Music, Inc.]

I'm a rollin' stone all alone and lost
For a life of sin I have paid the cost
When I pass by all the people say
Just another guy on the lost highway

Just a deck of cards and a jug of wine
And a woman's lies makes a life like mine
O the day we met, I went astray
I started rolling down that lost highway

I was just a lad, nearly 22
Neither good nor bad, just a kid like you
And now I'm lost, too late to pray
Lord I paid the cost, on the lost highway

Now boy's don't start to ramblin' round
On this road of sin ,or you're sorrow bound
Take my advice or you'll curse the day
You started rollin' down that lost highway

I'll Be Your Baby Tonight

Joe launched into the Dylan's "I'll Be Your baby Tonight."




Close your eyes, close the door,
You don't have to worry any more.
I'll be your baby tonight.

Shut the light, shut the shade,
You don't have to be afraid.
I'll be your baby tonight.

Well, that mockingbird's gonna sail away,
We're gonna forget it.
That big, fat moon is gonna shine like a spoon,
But we're gonna let it,
You won't regret it.

Kick your shoes off, do not fear,
Bring that bottle over here.
I'll be your baby tonight.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Grandpa Was A Carpenter

Joe leads the band in a spirited rendition of Grandpa was a Carpenter, a John Prine classic.




Grandpa wore his suit to dinner
Nearly every day
No particular reason
He just dressed that way
Brown necktie and a matching vest
And both his wingtip shoes
He built a closet on our back porch
And put a penny in a burned out fuse.

Chorus:
Grandpa was a carpenter
He built houses stores and banks
Chain smoked Camel cigarettes
And hammered nails in planks
He was level on the level
And shaved even every door
And voted for Eisenhower
'Cause Lincoln won the war.

Well, he used to sing me
"Blood on the Saddle"
And rock me on his knee
And let me listen to radio
Before we got TV
Well, he'd drive to church on Sunday
And take me with him too!
Stained glass in every window
Hearing aids in every pew.

Repeat Chorus:

Now my grandma was a teacher
Went to school in Bowling Green
Traded in a milking cow
For a Singer sewing machine
She called her husband "Mister"
And walked real tall and pride
And used to buy me comic books
After grandpa died.

Repeat Chorus:

Big River

Jesse Pine sings the Johnny Cash classic, "Big River" in the backyard at the Home Place.





Now I taught the weeping willow how to cry,
And I showed the clouds how to cover up a clear blue sky.
And the tears that I cried for that woman are gonna flood you Big River.
Then I'm gonna sit right here until I die.

I met her accidentally in St. Paul (Minnesota).
And it tore me up every time I heard her drawl, Southern drawl.
Then I heard my dream was back Downstream cavortin' in Davenport,
And I followed you, Big River, when you called.

Then you took me to St. Louis later on (down the river).
A freighter said she's been here but she's gone, boy, she's gone.
I found her trail in Memphis, but she just walked up the block.
She raised a few eyebrows and then she went on down alone.

Now, won't you batter down by Baton Rouge, River Queen, roll it on.
Take that woman on down to New Orleans, New Orleans.
Go on, I've had enough; dump my blues down in the gulf.
She loves you, Big River, more than me.

Now I taught the weeping willow how to cry, cry, cry
And I showed the clouds how to cover up a clear blue sky.
And the tears that I cried for that woman are gonna flood you Big River.
Then I'm gonna sit right here until I die.

Picking on Prine

On Sunday June 15, 2008, many members of my family gathered at the home place in Roanoke, Virginia to celebrate Father's Day. As is custom, Joe and Jesse began cranking out some tunes on guitar and I joined them on harmonica at times.

While all of this was going on, other family members were playing percussive mosquito zappers.



I'll be posting more videos from this concert. Stay Tuned.

Italian Rabbits

Rabbit follow-up:
Italian Rabbits are very aggressive and dangerous.

My sister found a Yahoo Photo link that documents the naturally evil, mean, and aggressive acts of an Italian rabbit.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Father's Day 2008

We had a fine time today at our father's day 2008 gathering. The video is representative of the stories that were being shared.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Because People Are Rabbits, Too


Because Rabbits Are People, Too

When I’m hiking along the fire road coming down from McAfee’s Knob, I tend to lengthen my stride a bit as Roald Dahl wrote, “…a country man who was used to covering large distances quickly.” The other day was no different. I had made the summit of McAfee’s Knob and begun the long trek back to the parking lot. Since I usually begin the nine-mile round trip (I tend to take a longer route than most) just after dawn, I’m usually almost back before I begin to pass people.

So as I was cruising along the ridge-top fire road the other day, I was startled as I came around a corner by… a rabbit. He was standing in the middle of the road glaring at me from about 25 yards away. Ordinarily, a person would have said, “Awe, look at the lovely little bunny rabbit.” But I knew better. In that moment as I closed the distance between the rabbit and me, the little fellow’s eyes bulged and looked right through me. He suddenly took off in a dead sprint heading right for me. I stopped cold in my tracks. Moving fast, he quickly closed the distance between us before veering away from me at the last possible moment and darting off into the woods.

I thought for sure that the rabbit was going to attack me. But after I thought about it, I realized that no rabbit would have veered away from me unless he was scared of something more powerful than me. So carefully, I started along the trail, and as I passed the spot where the rabbit bolted, I caught a black blur moving quickly and loudly away through the dense brush. So, that rabbit was too afraid to attack me that time.

I don’t like rabbits, or rather, they don’t like me. For as long as I can remember, rabbits have hated me. Well that’s not quite true. Once upon a time, a rabbit did love me, and I loved him. His name was “Whitey,” and he was my pet rabbit when I was five years old. Other than my large stuffed bunny named, “Mr. Bunny,” Whitey was the best friend I had. My brother, Joe, had a black bunny called “Blackie. My brother, Greg, had a brown rabbit named “Brownie.” Our rabbit family was loved and cared for by each of us. My father and Joe had built a comfortable cage under the winesap apple tree next our “barn” (a tool shed). Every day, we’d go out and let the rabbits go free to hang out in the yard under our watchful eyes. Whitey, Blackie, and Brownie would pretty much sit there in the cool backyard grass and wiggle their noses. No doubt they were content and happy. I loved the way Whitey looked, and the way he sat there.

Our rabbit utopia was shattered one morning when we discovered that the cage was tipped over and all four rabbits were gone. We found Brownie dead nearby and fur from the others with a trail of blood leading away from the cages. Sometime during the night, a pack of dogs must have come through and attacked our friends and stole them away for torture and death.

I was shattered. I cried and cried. That’s when I put Mr. Bunny away in the attic and left the world of rabbits for good. But Mr. Bunny didn’t like being in that hot attic. He nibbled his way through the roof, escaped, and began talking about me to his rabbit friends. If there’s one thing I learned about Mr. Bunny, he carried a grudge.

Years later, after I’d grown into a man and had a wife, a family, and a career in teaching, I met “Thumper.” In 1991, Nathanael Greene Elementary School in Stanardsville, Virginia was brand new. I occupied a fourth grade classroom teaching enrichment classes (locally called “Extension”). My friend, Ginger, was a special education teacher just down the hall from me. To help teach her students responsibility, Ginger brought in her pet rabbit, Thumper. Thumper was a round brown rabbit with big eyes and a snarling smile. She would keep him in a cage at night, but during the day, he was free to roam the room. I had never met a litter box-trained rabbit before, but Thumper was faithful to his box. His assuredness allowed him a certain level of freedom not normally given to ordinary pet rabbits. Thumper was a frustrated rabbit though. All day long in the classroom, he would chase a balloon around. When he would catch the balloon, he would immediately try to mount it in a sexual manner. That’s right, Thumper was an aggressive humper. All day long Thumper would spend hours trying to hump those balloons. He was obsessed and determined, but largely unsuccessful.

Early in the mornings, before the kids arrived and when teachers were beginning their daily preparations, Ginger would arrive and let Thumper out of his cage. He loved these times. Thumper would bolt from his cage and then head out the classroom door into the hallway. From there, he’d wander the halls and greet all of the teachers.

For me, however, Thumper had a special greeting. I remember the first time it happened. Thumper was prowling the halls one morning and came to pass by my open classroom door. As he hopped by, he stopped and looked in to my room and seemed to smile. It was a sinister smile if you ask me. Then he turned from his hall business and came through my classroom doorway toward me.

“Hey Thumper, what’s going on buddy?”

He kept smiling as he slowly approached me. His little rabbit nose was twitching furiously. Moments later, he was right at my feet. I looked down and smiled at him and said something like, “So you just wanted to say hi, eh Thumper….”

The next thing I knew, Thumper had attacked my leg with his sharp claws and was digging in to my flesh. Then he pulled his hind legs closer to my leg and began humping my leg while simultaneous digging his razor-sharp teeth into the meat of my lower leg.

I howled in pain and reflexively kicked my leg tossing Thumper some distance away. He rolled and sprang immediately up on all fours and charged me. Again, I kicked him away. Then I bolted from the classroom to go in search of Ginger.

When I found her and told her the tale of “Humper’s” attack, she just laughed, and said, “… not Thumper. He wouldn’t hurt a flea.” So I grabbed her and dragged her down to my room just to prove it to her. Thumper, however, was too clever for me. He had already exited my room and was back to wandering the halls with that…smile on his lips.

“Hey baby, “ Ginger said to the evil one. Thom says, you’ve been a naughty boy. At this moment the clever rabbit waddled (he was a bit over-weight) over to Ginger, and she bent over to pet him. I just stood a stared. Where was the aggressive, attack bunny I’d just seen? “ See Thom, Thumper’s a sweet bunny rabbit.” I nodded my head and let the matter go.

Several weeks later, after having avoided Thumper successfully, I turned the corner in the hallway one morning, and came foot to face with Thumper. As usual, he had that smile on his lips. His nose started twitching, and without hesitation, he charged me, growling and clawing at my legs. I gave him a swift boot in the butt and he scampered off to find his balloon.

For the next few years, Thumper humped his balloon at school to his heart’s content until one day when he was busted for snapping at a child’s finger. Ginger was forced to take him home.

So up to this point in my life, rabbits held both a tragic and terrifying place in my mind. From time to time, I’d think of poor Whitey and old Mr. Bunny. Blood smeared those memories though and the evil, smiling Thumper lips would inevitably force their way into my thoughts. I’d shudder.

A few years later, my family and I went to Lynchburg to visit my sister-in-law, Paula and her family. Paula and her husband Jim were in the process of raising four kids in a comfortable ranch house in a tree-lined neighborhood. Jim helped his father at the family’s local hardware and gun store, so he had access to all kinds of toys. So I guess it wasn’t surprising to me at all when Jim told us that they were raising rabbits.

Jim said that they had originally bought a pair of rabbits to breed. These rabbits were quite successful and soon the whole backyard was loaded with rabbits running around their fenced yard. Jim insisted that I come out back to see them, so I obliged. After all, Thumper was a freak. Rabbits were actually quite cute and lovable. I almost believed these thoughts as I kept rehearsing them repeatedly in my mind as we stepped out back.

As I opened the basement door and walked into the backyard, it was like stepping into my worst nightmare. The yard was littered with rabbits, all hopping around. All smiling with big lips. Almost immediately, all of the rabbits stopped hopping and turned their heads to look at me. Jim said, “They really like you.” I wasn’t so sure.

Jim, a master at getting people to do things that they ordinarily wouldn’t do, began to encourage me to pick one up and pet it. I was wary, explaining to Jim my experiences with Thumper and my childhood rabbit horror story. Jim pushed my fears aside and continued the full-court press to get me to pick up one of the evil ones. To prove his point that they were lovable, he grabbed one by the scruff of the neck and then cradled him like a baby, gently stroking his soft, black fur. The rabbit closed his eyes and seemed to be tranquilized. He looked so docile and lovable. Gradually, my fears melted away. I longed to hold one of the cute rabbits.

Following Jim’s lead, I reached down and picked up a friendly looking black and white rabbit that was gradually coming closer to me. Just as Jim did, I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and immediately cradled him. The rabbit seemed okay…at first…but then he started twitching his nose and flashing a fat lip smile. That’s when he began using his hind legs to claw away at my arm. Within seconds, he had gouged me and raked me repeatedly across my unprotected arm. Reflexively, I tossed the evil one away and he landed with a thump on the ground and scampered away.

Pain shot through me, and I began trying to figure out how bad I was wounded. It turns out that the rabbit really got me good. It took a long time for the multiple scratches to heal, and to this day I have scars on my arms. I vowed then to have nothing to do with rabbits again. That was not to be the case, however.

A couple of years later, we were visiting Jim again, and again Jim invited me to visit the rabbits in the backyard. I reminded Jim that rabbits and I didn’t seem to get along, but Jim insisted that that was nonsense. Remember than when Jim insists you do something, it’s very hard to resist. So in true flashback fashion, I stepped into that backyard teeming with hopping bunnies. Immediately, they all cocked their sinister heads around and glared at me. Then several began to charge me. I smoothly moved to the side and walked to the other side of the yard. Immediately, the rabbits turned and smiled at me and began closing in on me, trying to trap me against the backyard metal fence. They closed quickly and before I could move away, one of them charged my leg and began biting me with his vicious rabbit razors. I kicked him away and ran for the fence gate a few yards away and made it through before the next rabbit made it to me.

Until the other day when I was hiking along the fire road, I hadn’t encountered any more rabbits. I go out of my way to avoid them. When I do see them in the distance, I feel their coal eyes fixed on me as their poisonous thoughts are telepathically transmitted to me. My fear keeps me away and serves me well for without a doubt, rabbits want me dead.

Epilogue

Whitey’s remains were never found. Mr. Bunny was actually located buried deep in the attic with a missing eye, a hole in his stomach, and a stiff coat-hanger wire hanging out of his now flopping right ear. Thumper died of cardiac arrest one afternoon while humping a balloon at his home. Jim gave up breeding rabbits when they turned on him and began attacking. The rabbit on McAfee’s Knob fire road that dashed into the woods is still at large.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Clearing My Head


I have a few things to get out of my head before I can begin to write my long promised rabbit story.

My boss (female) came up to me this morning and said,…

“I got an email from _______ today and I need you to help me shrink his thing.”

I looked at her dead in the eye without smirking or missing a beat and very seriously replied, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you do that.”

Whoosh

“Well, why not?”

That’s when I realized that I’d better play the game properly, so I told her I’d be glad to help. _________ had sent her an Excel file that didn’t fit onto her paper when printed. So I showed her how to scale (shrink) the file to fit the page.

It’s probably good that my summer unemployment period begins tomorrow.

*******************************************************************
I enjoy visiting my local Big Lots store to see what unusual items they have salvaged and are selling.

Over the years, I've purchased rechargeable batteries, Kellogg's Conrnflakes with Arabic writing on the box, kippers in a tin, and dill pickles from India.

So I was excited to see a new product on the shelves the other day,

Dona Maria brand Nopalitos (Tender Cactus). The first one I bought had a popped "Security Button" and I exchanged it for a sealed jar. I opened them yesterday for a taste. The cactus is tender and down-right mushy. Since they've added onions, cilantro, and serrano peppers, there is a serious fire to it.

*************************************************
Did you happen to hear Dennis Kucinich speaking on the floor of Congress the other night? It took him five hours to read all 35 clauses of his Presidential Impeachment Resolution. I was able to listen in last night as these three poor clerks were forced to provide a second reading. While the resolution was kicked into committee to die a slow and painful death, at least there is now an official record in Congress of the high crimes committed by the administration.



You will find more videos at YouTube that cover more of his recitation of the resolution.

********************************

School is finally out for me, and tomorrow I begin my summer unemployment. Beginning in August, I'll be moving back to the clasasroom and teach third grade again. It was a tough decision to make, but I realized that I really missed teaching my very own class and telling my very own class a bunch of stories. Plus, I really can't wait to read Danny, The Champion of the World aloud again.

***************************************

Speaking of books, I've recently read some marvelous sci-fi/fantasy books. Here's a look :

Forever War by Joe Haldeman: This book follows the unusual story of a soldier who fights wars through time. Written at the pinnacle of the Vietnam War, this book is a Science Fiction classic with a stark and haunting message.

Forever Peace by Joe Haldeman: In a time in the near future when people have advanced technology to the breaking point of society, a horrible, new ultimate weapon is discovered...one that will destroy the UNIVERSE in a "Big Bang." In parallel, a fanatic neo-con religious group secretly hijacks the military and government. What follows is tension.

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson: Old fashioned fantasy is joined with sci-fi and excellent story telling to reveal a most unique world that is struggling against a dark, immortal dictator. The heroes of the book plot a way to overthrow the government and establish a utopia. Battling a powerful immortal is not easy.

Well of Ascension by Brandon Sanderson: The second of the trilogy chronicles the fantasy world after the fall of the dark, immortal dictator when the rule of law is established and everyone lives happily ever after...well...not quite.

soon....time loop, eh?
Stay tuned for an incredible rabbit tale...coming




Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Crazy Legs

Rabbits attack my legs. They are not nice...the rabbits I mean, not my legs.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Humor for Lexophiles

A friend sent most of the following to me via email. I haven't researched yet to find out where this particular collection originated, but I thought I'd share it with my reader anyway. Rabbit week continues.


HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES

(LOVERS OF WORDS)

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.


2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.


3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.


4. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.


5. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.


6. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.


7. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.


8. A rabbit that attacks me is hare today and gone tomorrow.


9. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it!


10. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.


11. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.


12. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.


13. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is just two-tired.


14. A will is a dead giveaway.


15. A backward poet writes inverse.


16. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.


17. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.


18. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in linoleum blownapart.


19. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.


20. A calendar's days are numbered.


21. A boiled egg is hard to beat.


22. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.


23. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.


24. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.


25. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Rabbits

I don't like rabbits.