So I was parked listening to Terry Gross interview Joan Rivers on a recent edition of Fresh Air. Target and my prescription pick-up would have to wait. Joan was killing it. She was a riot. I had the windows of my Honda Accord down, and my laughs were quieting the recorded predatory bird sounds that play to scare away nesting grackles.
I had left a parking space between my tiny car and the massive alien SUV boat parked adjacent to me. As I was mid-laugh, a 4-door sedan pulls into the space between us. Inside this car were five thumping teens. The two girls up front were rocking and gyrating to the pulsing , indecipherable rhythmic musical noise. It was like SNL's "Night at the Roxbury" skit.
Then from the back seat out piled a group of people two guys and a girl. One of the guys went to the front of the sedan, right next to my car, and began gyrating as if he was making love to the grill of the car. The girls in the front seat went crazy and began screaming. Remember, I'm parked right next to them. Then the guy went around behind the car and began gyrating again as if he was ...well... performing anal sex. with the tailpipe of the car. The other guy joined in as did the other girl. It was an amazing scene. Hard to explain, but I think you get the point.
As they all reached to light up cigarettes, I made my move. Afraid that they would begin making love to my car, I "pulled out" of the space and found a spot in the parking lot far away from them.
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