Taking Care of Them

Not the actual dog...must protect her identity on the Internet

Author’s Note: It seems like a rite of passage for a writer to attempt to personify one of their family pets. Here’s my feeble attempt. Perhaps there will be some kernel of imagination displayed within. Either way, it was fun writing.

Taking Care of Them

I don’t really know why I feel the need to sit down here and tell my story. No matter what I have written here, I suspect that you’ll never really understand me. Yet I feel strangely compelled to share with you what I am and try to explain why I am the way I am.

They call me Riley. I thought it was strange when they started saying “Riley, Riley, Riley, Riley, Riley,” over and over. It’s almost as if they are blind and can’t smell me either so they cry out for me instead. So I figured I’d just start responding to that word. They seem to like it when I do that, and I usually get some good attention from them when I do. Sometimes, they even rub my stomach. There is nothing better than having my stomach rubbed.

I am a black dog with lots of fur. I think I’m rather attractive, but I certainly don’t spend a lot of time primping. They say I’m a mix of black lab and chow. I’m not sure what exactly that means, but they usually say, “Ahhh Oooh” when they hear the lab part and “Ohhh No” when they hear the chow part. I’m a strong dog, with excellent balance and speed. I try to take care of myself by getting plenty of rest. They mostly fill my bowl of chunky bits twice a day, although sometimes they forget, and I have to remind them. I mean, If I could fill my bowl myself, I would do it; but I’d probably end up being fat, because I do love my food - except for that stretch recently where they got me this green bag of food. I didn’t like those chunks. They tasted like stuff I don’t like. Then they got smart and got me the white bag of chunks. Man that stuff is good. If I could tell them one thing, it’s that I need more water. Some days my water bowl is dry, and I’m always very thirsty. I mean I work hard, and when you work hard you build up a big time thirst. I can never get enough water.

Usually the one with long fur takes care of me. This one sometimes takes me out of my home and walks with me. She does not keep up with me very well, and she doesn’t seem interested in smelling anything with me, but I still like going. There are so many cool smells, a canvas of odor with a strong pallet. Rich, dark, thin, light smells abound. I just can’t drink them in fast enough. This female also helps me get ready for bed every night. You know, I can really take care of myself, but sometimes it’s nice being primped. If I had my way, however, I’d just stay right there on my deck all night and keep an eye and nose on things. It’s hard to keep an eye out from the bottom of the house.

I love these people. I don’t really know why. Sometimes they don’t say much to me day after day. There have been days when I won’t see any of them all day from the time she lets me out until the dark time when she leads me down to the bottom of the house. Yet, other times, they shower me with attention. The tall yellow male is always sneaking treats to me. The slow chubby male likes to come out to sit with me and rub my belly. The other female is very busy, but sometimes talks to me like I was one of her own children. I like that. They are sweet, and it is my job to repay their kindness by taking care of them.

I just don’t know how they got along without me. I’m not bragging or anything, because I am incapable of that, but before I came here, this place was over run with cats, moles, flying bees, birds, and squirrels. Since then, I’ve taken care of most of these problems. The cats know to keep away, but I sure wish that that white cat who smells like pink would sneak on over to my yard when I’m out, because I could teach that cat a lesson or two about speed and power. That cat is mean to me. He sits over on the grass just out of my reach and stares at me. It used to drive me crazy, and I would yell and yell across the fence daring him to cross that line, but he would just stare back. I pretty much ignore him now, but he knows that if he ever steps close to me, I will tear his heart out.

The moles are pretty fun to catch. No creature has the right to come into my space unless my people want them. These moles are definitely not invited. They may be under ground, but I can smell them out, no problem! Then it’s just a matter of time before I dig them out of the ground with my powerful diggers and then present my prize to my people on our deck. The great thing about digging for moles is that when I’m done, I end up with some very cool dirt places to lie in all over my yard.

I’ve never seen so many flying bees as I’ve seen here. These things are very annoying. Their little buzzing wings really mess up my ability to hear what’s going on, and they don’t smell good either. So whenever one comes by me, I take it out. I’ve perfected my technique over the last few years. When I first started, I would just lunge at the flying bees, but they would zip away from my snapping jaws. Now I have learned to wait a bit longer...wait for it...wait for it...wait for it...attack!!! SNAP! Usually I can get a flying bee in one or two snaps! Pretty good, huh?

Now birds, they’re pretty cool. They smell pretty good, and I like to watch them sometimes. When I see them flit into the food station and then dart away, sometimes I dream of what it would be like to just go anywhere I wanted whenever I wanted. I dream of smelling places that I’ve never been before. That’s why I let them stick around. They entertain me and help me dream dreams.

Now squirrels, they’re my real enemy. Those guys are sneaky and rude. They are always creeping around and sneaking up on me. I just don’t trust them and I know that the slow chubby male doesn’t like them either. Whenever he sees them he yells at me, “SQUIRREL!” When I hear that, no matter what I’m doing, I drop everything and run...Most of the time, they scramble away fast tumbling over the fence just out of the reach of my snapping jaws. Sometimes though, they scramble up the big tree. I hate/love it when they do this. I can’t get up trees, and these beasts know that so they will sit up there stinking and chattering away, taunting me with their malodorous stench. I’ll tell you what though, sometimes they out-smart themselves and miscalculate their escape from my yard, and when they do, I own them. I can crush a stinky squirrel is seconds with my flashing teeth.

I love my people. Sometimes they’ll rub me and scratch my ears. Those are my favorite things. I could sit and lean on my people all day as long as they keep rubbing me. Being a furry black dog can be hot business, so any rubs and scratches by these people are much appreciated.

Sometimes I see or smell other dogs, people or cats roaming too close to my people’s place. I make sure I tell them all to stay away from my people. Sometimes my people bring other new smelling people over to our place. I figure that if these other people are ok with them, then they are ok by me, especially if they rub my belly and scratch my ears.

I can’t say that I’ve always been a saint. I mean sometimes I just do things because I know that my people won’t like it. I like to sneak their smelly clothes out of my bedroom and toss them in the yard where I poop. I figure that since they are always leaving their smelly stuff next to my bed, they deserve having their smelly clothes out with my poop. Another thing I do is take the red balls the slow chubby male cares about in my cool dirt bed next to the house. Actually, the first time I took one of these round balls, I was just feeling sneaky and mad because, his red ball tree was taking up some of my best cool dirt sleeping places. But then I bit in to this red ball, and it tasted really good. Now whenever I smell one of these red balls, I can’t wait to sneak it.

Of all the things I like about my people, the thing I like best is when they say “truck.” That’s their cue for me to go jump in their truck and go for a ride. I like to sit up in this truck and stick my nose into the onrushing wind as we fly down the road like a bird. Sometimes when we go really, really fast and I have my head way out facing the blitzing wind, I squint my eyes closed and dream of being out running in a wild field with my people, together; drinking in all of the marvelous scents of the wild world.