Nice

Nice

I really don’t watch too much television these days. I’ll watch part of a football game here or there, but I rarely sit and watch the whole thing. I do watch two shows, “Lost” and “24.” I have no idea why I even care to watch them.

Sometimes when I need background noise, I’ll turn on one those home improvement networks. I’ve seen homes remodeled, homes flipped, walls horribly painted, rooms designed cheaply, and homes purchased. Why is it that only homes in California or Texas get remodeled?

As I’m writing this, there’s a very annoying and sappy home buying show on. A young couple on a budget are touring homes in their community to purchase. The realtor is so friendly it’s almost as if he’s married to the client. Oh wait, they are married. The client is married to her realtor! What a plot twist! I love tracking their predictable dialog.

“Wow, this one looks good.”

“Yeah, that one’s nice.”

“Ooh, I like that fireplace.”

“It’s nice.”

“The kids would like that bedroom.”

“Yeah, it’s a nice space, and it’s big.”

“Ooh, I’m not sure that yard will work.”

“It may be too cramped for the kids.”

“Yeah. And no trees.”

“Oh yeah.”

“I can see us in this house.”

“It’s nice and affordable, too. Definitely on our list.”

“Yeah, it’s nice and I like it…”

These shows go on all day and night on various cable channels. The weird thing is that in all of the days that I’ve played them in the background while I’m working, I’ve never heard a show repeat. How is that possible? They must crank out new shows every day for the insatiable broadcast consumer. Yeah, that’s it.

More than anything though, I live for my hourly “Betty White in the PetMeds commercial” fix. You can’t beat Betty White. She’s nice.