Monday Extra

Monday Extra

The Extra (Entertainment) section of the Monday newspaper is usually good for a laugh or two. Chief on the laugh parade is John Rosemond. Mr. Rosemond’s weekly column appears on “The Old Farts Page” of the paper right below a column by Ben Beagle. Ben usually writes in a morphine-induced, semi-conscious stream about new-fangled technologies like computers or telephones. Rosemond likes to write about how rotten parents are these days.

Today’s Rosemond column was true to form. In it, Rosemond rages against those gushy parents who misguidedly tell their children that they can be anything they want to be in life. He believes in the tried and true methods used by his parents and his grandparents. “My parents never told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. They told me what all parents should tell all children: I was blessed with a finite set of strengths. It was my primary responsibility to discover what they were, develop them, and use them for the benefit of my fellow citizens.”

Rosemond goes on to rage about the wave of hapless and rudderless kids that are entering adulthood with no clue what their special purpose might be. These mush-brains, products of hovering parents who fulfilled every childish whim or need, are destined to be unhappy, unfulfilled, failures, divorcees, and bad parents themselves. According to Rosemond, “…good intentions pave the road to perdition.”

So “The Old Farts Page” can be quite exciting, but I get my greatest laughs from what I call “The Nurturing Parents” page. In Monday’s edition, there were three gems, “Minn. Day care centers beating the flu so far,” “Take the perfect holiday photo,” and my favorite- Be Good Food Models For Kids.”

Brenda Guiterrez from McClatchy-Tribune wrote Be Good Food Models For Kids, an informative piece that shares healthy eating and exercise tips for nurturing parents. From her article, I learned that children today are getting fat and that eating healthy foods and getting plenty of exercise can help arrest this tubby epidemic.

Here’s what Guiterrez suggests parents do.

1. Eat at the table, as a family: I can see concerned parents everywhere thinking out loud, “Honey, read this. She makes so much sense. Why didn’t we think of that? We could even use that time to have meaningful conversations with our precious children and each other.”

2. Don’t eat in front of the television or computer: “Honey, that’s on you babe. She has your number. We have to become better role models. I think that maybe we should set a timer for television viewing and computer use.”

3. A treat a day is OK: “That just makes so much sense. I’ve always loved desserts. Pies, cakes, Jell-O. Kroger has some fantastic deli cakes and pies. Who says trimming our tummies can’t be fun?”

4. Don’t give up on fresh fruits and vegetables: “Obviously Brenda has been around my picky children. Honestly, every time I serve them fruit or vegetables they just turn up their noses. This one’s going to be difficult, but I’ll keep trying.”

5. Don’t be a short-order cook: “Isn’t that the truth. I have to say that I’ve gotten really good at making chicken fingers and French fries!”

6. Make meal times pleasant and relaxed: “I remember when my mother wouldn’t let me leave the table until I cleaned my plate. I hated that, and I vowed that I’d never have such silly rules at my table. I’m glad Brenda agrees. Chalk one up for us! Yes!”

7. Always add something fresh: “Hmmm that’s a good idea. Tossing some extra pepperoni on the frozen pizza sounds like a great idea!”

8. Bring the kids into the kitchen: “That’s such a great idea. I can let them develop their menu and go to the grocery store with me to select their foods. What a rich learning experience and good for us to boot!”

9. Set limits: “I’m not sure I understand this one…wait…Brenda says ‘Children have a natural ability to self-regulate when it comes to eating habits.’ I get it now, we should just relax and let the children decide what and how they should eat.”

10. Get the whole family involved: “That’s right sister because a family that eats together…stays together! And my kitchen will be healthier as well. I just love this article.”

11. If you’re trying to undo unhealthy habits, start slow. “That is soooo true. I can see how if we did all these things, the children might be distressed.”

Brenda Guiterrez also believes that no amount of healthy eating is any good without corresponding exercise. She wisely tells readers to keep those children away from computer and television screens. Get them active. There are tons of options for healthy exercise. Little Gym is one example. You can enroll in classes with your child as early as four months. Together as an engaged parent couple, you can guide your child in play activities every step of the way. It makes great sense. The family that exercises together is fit and trim!

Guiterrez spends some column time writing of “Free workouts!” Apparently, your child can participate in free activities right at your own home. “…Hide-and-seek, tag or jump rope also burn calories and improve fitness.” She even suggests that families go for a bike ride around the neighborhood or celebrate a birthday or holiday with a physical activity. Shoot you can even go for a family hike or have a family snowball fight. The possibilities are simply endless.

“Wow honey, I’m sure glad I read that article. It was filled with so many wonderful tips to help us stay fit and trim. Armed with this information, our children will be happy and healthy and able to do anything they want to do in life!”